Ashley:
Hey everyone, welcome back. It's Ashley. And today I'm joined by a former colleague of mine who I'm truly honored to call my friendKyle Smith. Kyle is a marketer and sports photographer with a passion for storytelling and helps people like me bring meaningful stories to life through photo and video. But beyond that, he and I share interests around psychology, growth mindsets, and grit. So I'm confident that this is going to be a fruitful conversation. And with that, Kyle, welcome. Thanks so much for joining me.
Kyle:
I'm so excited to be on Endurance Diaries. We've talked about this for a while and certainly followed your work for a while and the conversations that you've had, and it's really an honor to be on.
Ashley:
Thank you. And last year when I was going through a bit of a career transition, you generously and significantly helped me with a creative project to craft my own personal narrative. And I remember sending you over different photo and video assets thinking like, okay, Kyle, just go do your thing. And I remember you challenging me with questions to really think about what story I want to tell, which involves some introspection in thinking about what it is that really matters to me and what I stand for. And with those questions in mind, what visual elements can we use to express that? And so as much as you did the heavy lifting from the production side, it was very much a collaborative effort and made me think about storytelling in a unique way. So first, I just want to say thank you for that because you helped me beyond just creating the content in seconds. I thought it would be fun to open up this conversation having you share a story that you believe captures who you are and what you care about.
Kyle:
Yeah, I'd be happy to. I mean, first maybe a quick comment on working with you on that project that was so much fun and going back to, I don't know, the power of bringing your story to life and something maybe we'll touch on in this conversation is just the power of vulnerability and knowing who you are, what you stand for, and you can communicate that in a lot of different ways and the power of narrative and that was so cool to produce that alongside you. So yeah, maybe I think I'll tell a little bit of a story about baseball to introduce myself. I am the person who is romantic about baseball.If you ever have seen Moneyball, you'll know that scene. And I grew up a huge baseball fan rooting for the Cleveland Indians. I'm from Rochester, New York originally, but that's my team. My grandparents grew up in the Cleveland area.
And I'll take you back to 1997 because that is, I'm seven years old. There you go. Got my age. That's probably my earliest most vivid memory actually is my dad got a call, it's fall, it's playoff time. AndCleveland had made the playoffs and was playing the Baltimore Orioles in the ALCS. So the championship series, the round just before the World Series and got a call from a friend, Hey, I have two extra tickets. Would you and Kyle like togo to the game? And my dad's the kind of guy he's going to jump at that opportunity in a heartbeat. So he takes off work, he pulls me out of school and we hit the road, which is about a four hour drive from Rochester to Cleveland.And I just remember having the best time alongside my dad walking the streets outside the stadium.
And I'm sure a lot of father and sons might have a similar experience. There's something really special about sharing a day like that with your dad and going into the stadium. And again, I'll never forget, it's a sellout in Cleveland. It was Jim Thome Sock Knight. This guy's my favorite player growing up. He's a fellow left-handed batter and he was known for stepping up to the plate and he'd point at the picture every time he stepped up and he was my idol and he had very high socks. So that was the giveaway that evening. And it was an 11 inning game. My dad and I never sat down, we never left our seats. It was that great of a game. And Cleveland won on a pass ballin the 11th inning and crowd goes wild and now it's midnight. And my dad's like, do we drive back to Rochester or find a place to stay?
And to sum it up, it's just a really fond memory that I reflect on when 20 years later my dad actually passed away. And I was thinking just the connection over those years how baseball, Cleveland baseball was so central to our relationship. My sister later wrote an article talking about how baseball, and baseball in particular makes and sports really make the miles between us feel like inches. And I think that was definitely my experience with my dad and it's just a real connector while I'm really thousands of miles away from siblings here in Texas, back home in New York. So that's definitely shaped how I view relationships and really the power of experiences too because we harken back to a lot of fond memories of Cleveland baseball including losing to the Cubs in 2016. But there is always next year and Cleveland, I have high hopes that one of these years, they'll win it all.
Ashley:
Just want to first say thank you for sharing that. And something that really stands out to me is how detailed you were. And I think that goes back to the power of these experiences that we have in the stories then that derive from those experiences. And those are some things that you pull out that are very specific to those moments that you got to share with your family, with your dad specifically. And knowing now that you have that memory and how that moves us then throughout our lives and we're continuing to write these stories as we're living
Kyle:
A hundred percent and we've connected on this, just been such a big fan and believer in the power of stories as a means to connect with other people. There's a fantastic Ted Talk by a gentleman named Andrew Stan and he worked for Pixar. He, he's a filmmaker and he talks about the power of stories and frames it even in a way where he says, we all love stories. We're born for them. They affirm who we are and kind of what we stand for. And talking about that level of vulnerability that comes from sharing your story or connections that can happen. And one example extending beyond the story I told about, Hey, I'm seven years old, 1997. One of my earliest memories with my dad is a story that I feel most privileged to have told, which is the story of my sister and my dad talking about the 2016 season specifically of Cleveland baseball.
And we made a video about just my sister and my dad and their connection similar to mine, but Cleveland baseball being this centerpiece and this constant throughout the years and my sister living abroad for a time and listening to games on the radio and having a reason to talk to my dad. And the comments on that video, it just showed a lot of people were talking about that made me think of my dad that made me think of my relationship with someone special to them. And that was the coolest thing to see, just like comments coming in from people whom I'd never met and talking about a similar experience that they've had that they connected with and that evoked an emotion in them.And that sums up to me the power of stories. That's why I love them. Of course, there's so many different mediums to tell a story like the written word, your beautiful gallery wall behind you, just photography.
I'm sure you could tell a beautiful story about any one of those photographs. And then certainly video, music, all the arts, just the means of connecting people. And I think that it is such an amazing way to get to the root of who somebody is and what they're passionate about is not what do you do for work. It's like tell me a story about yourself. It is from stories that we can delve great and deep meaning for our lives in relation to those around us. And I think that's a pretty cool perspective. I mean, think of all the great stories, great films that you watch or great books you've read, the characters that you've connected with, the challenges and obstacles they've overcome. It is all things that I think run in parallel to the human experience. And it's pretty cool to place yourself in someone else's shoes and think about, I can relate to that. That means something to me just framed in a different way. And I never thought about it that way. And that totally opens my eyes to just a completely new perspective on a challenge and issue life in general. And I think that that's so cool when you can frame things that way.
Ashley:
I love that so good Kyle. And that's why the possibility that somebody can connect with or be impacted by your story is what makes it worth sharing. I think about people in my life who I've sat down with, had coffee with, who have shared their experiences and stories. And I think sometimes it's intertwined. I mean stories, right? There's something to that specific, like when you explained going to this game, you took us through kind of like a beginning and end, but I think it's to any of our experiences, you can see yourself in that that's where it can really ripple effect. There's a quote from Mr. Rogers and I don't know if it's a quote from him per se or from somebody else, but it came from the show and it says, there isn't anyone that you couldn't learn to love once you've heard their stories.
And I want to talk about this because I couldn't agree more from my own experience. I couldn't agree more. My friend Allie, she was a guest on this podcast way back in the beginning, and something that she said when sharing some of her own experiences when she was in Honduras is that the way to overcome black and white thinking is with proximity. And I think that's really important here. And I think it ties in because I think often times we are quick to make assumptions about somebody based on what we see on the surface. However, it's really hard to hate somebody up close, and I truly believe that. And so then it's like what is our part in bridging those gaps between one another and finding those places of connection?
Kyle:
I love that. And I think it's really important to understand that there's, I guess a few different types of stories. One is I shared a story at the beginning. That's a beautiful memory to me, and that's something just so positive and unfilled with joy when thinking about that. But then there's also the inverse of that, which is a story associated with a low or Brene Brown talks about something associated with shame, with shortcomings.And I'd argue those are the most intriguing and most powerful stories is the imperfections that we all have and that we all share. And when those things are shared, I think it allows for an even deeper connection than you might get from superficial conversation or a story that's just about, here are all the great things, great memories that I have, or great stories that I want to tell. And the way I also think about, it's like sports and I do some sports photography.
It's like, yeah, I love taking pictures and people love seeing pictures of the fans going wild and the emotion of scoring a goal and cheering and chanting and players celebrating after a dunk or a goal. And there's all these incredible visuals that come from these moments in time that are celebratory and joyful, but people love seeing the training and the grit and the sweat from their brow and the details of just the grind that athletes put themselves through. And even photos that conveyed disappointment. Maybe we lost this one. My head's down, I take this maybe even personally, and I think we connect on a deeper level sometimes when we see those visuals, I can understand or maybe can see and feel the emotion that this person is experiencing right now.
Ashley:
A few months ago, I overheard somebody make a comment about somebody who's a very close friend of mine and the person who made the comment doesn't know anything about my friend outside of one interaction. And my immediate thought was like, if you knew her, you wouldn't have said that.You know how important it is. Our stories are, it makes you think, right? And it makes you have this level of compassion sensitivity and an awareness. It's easy to just see things on the surface, but when we go a little bit deeper, that's where you realize, Hey, we're all in this thing together. We have more in common than we think, and we're more connected than we think.
Kyle:
I watched the Won't You Be My Neighbor, the Mr. Rogers documentary, which was just fantastic. And you watched that and you can't help but come away thinking, wow, the worldview that this man had is if you adopt it is like life altering because anyone is lovable, but you do have to one, create an environment where they feel comfortable sharing a story and then two, be an active listener and an extremely patient in receiving that. And that's a tremendous gift, and I think that can be a universal worldview. It's not just aChristian worldview, but I think he really modeled Mr. Rogers the power of vulnerability that all again connect to the really good Brene Brown talk that blew up a few years ago. And deservedly, she's fantastic. And it's one thing, again, to tell a story about a high in your life or that's purely positive, but something that involves disappointment or shame, much, much more difficult to share that. But I'd argue much more compelling, and I'm trying to think of examples are escaping me right now, but maybe something will pop up of just characters and stories where you're like, I don't connect with this character at all because they're perfect. They don't have any flaws. But in contrast to somebody who's striving, I think to always be better may fall short periodically, but again, that's the human experience and those are the great characters in the stories that resonate and I think are timeless.
Ashley:
So something else that Andrew talks about that I think is very relevant to this whole concept of curiosity and leaning in to one another, he said for me, there's no greater ability than another human giving you that feeling to hold them still just for a brief moment in their day and have them surrender to wonder when it's tapped the affirmation of being alive. It reaches you almost to a cellular level. Then this is my favorite part. He says, when an artist does that to another artist, it's like you're compelled to pass that along. We are all artists, we are all storytellers, and each and every one of our stories matter. And again, have the power to positively impact somebody. else. And it is a ripple effect.
Kyle:
I love that. I think it's so important to frame it that way. Everybody, one, everybody's an artist as a follow-up to that, a storyteller, and you have the ability to make people care. And I think it's a really cool way to actually frame that, if I may, in the context of faith as well, which is the first line in the Bible is in the beginning, God created, he created. And I think it's so cool to connect that if you're Christian, our Creator, that's part of us. And it goes back to again, part of the talk. We're born for stories because they connect us and they're so powerful. Yeah, I mean that sense of wonder, I'm thinking of the what are my favorite stories that I reference or read time and time again, there's the epics like Lord of theRings. My favorite movie, family movie growing up was this film called It's aWonderful Life.
And the takeaway from that film is No Man is a failure who has friends just like relationships and shared experiences being really powerful connectors again. And I think there's also an element of, I coached soccer for a number of years and I've always been so interested in the topic of sports psychology and peak performance. And I think inherently stories are tied to both of those topics as well. Just thinking about, yeah, just what somebody stands for. What are their past experiences? Where do they want to go?The opportunity we have every day when we wake up to write our own story. I mean, that is a cliche, but I think there's truth to that. And we make references to stories when we think about transitional moments in our lives as well. I'm going to turn a page onto the, I'm going to write my next chapter and what do you want that to be?
And we have control of a lot of those things. And it's mindset and framing what you strive for becomes what you write. It's so true. I think even translating to business, even I see people who are as part of coaching or maybe they're looking for professional development, is well write down your story and what you're striving to be. And when you do that exercise,I think it's very revealing on a personal level. You have to think about in 20,30 years, what do you want to look back and have accomplished? And I think it's just a really helpful exercise to frame your efforts to be better than the day before. And I'm going to pull in my guy, John Wooden here. I love him and I love his outlook on life, but his definition of success, again, I'll paraphrase, but which is peace of mind in knowing that you did the best to become the best that you're capable of becoming. And in your story, did you work to fulfill your potential? And they're going to be micro stories that you tell along the way that are the highs. And then certainly and probably more memorable, are those really lows? I know you've had some amazing guests on here who talk about those things, those challenges, the obstacles that they've had to overcome, and how do they articulate them to you? It's through a story and when people listen, I'm sure a lot of people connect with those stories.
Ashley:
So good. The way that you articulate your thoughts and just speak to all of this is it's really moving and it's encouraging to me, andI know that it's encouraging to others. And so I'm really grateful for you being here. And to wrap this up, I wanted to pull in one more quote here, going off of this talk that we've been referencing this whole time, Andrew, it closes out by saying it doesn't always mean plot or fact. It means capturing a truth from your experience, expressing values you personally feel deep down in your core, you experience it, you can't make it up, right? The power is that no one can take your story from you and whether or not they like it or find value init, or it challenges their thinking or it inspires them to do something new, but et cetera, et cetera, all of these things, they still can't take it from you. And I think the value of your story is not dependent on how somebody else receives it. If it matters to you, it matters. And it's worth sharing. It's worth your story. I think about this too, right? Your story isn't for everybody. Go back to marketing marketing 1 0 1. You are not for everybody, but there is somebody who needs your story. And there's also somebody who needs to feel heard.
Kyle:
It's kind of a hard question. I'm sure you've been asked this. It's like, what's your story? And that's such a broad question because I think if I could break it down, it's really like when you look back at your experiences, it's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of stories that make up how you view the world and what you value. To Andrew's point, and I think what's most important is having the courage to tell those stories. They will go untold, you are in control of that. No one else can pull that out of you. You have to be vulnerable and share them. And I think you'd be surprised at people's reactions when you do share those. And that would be, I guess my words of encouragement for people, whether you're connecting with a friend, whether you're a marketer like me and you're trying to tell the story of a brand or a business, make people care. And step one of that is telling the story, making it compelling, and sharing a human experience. And I think it's pretty cool to think about where those conversations and stories might lead.
Ashley:
Thanks for landing us there. I think that's a beautiful summary and great takeaways. But for those listening in too, I just want to plug this in. If you need any help with an upcoming creative project or content creation or marketing, Kyle is your go-to, and you can find him at, heyit'skyle.com. I will link his site and social channels in the show notes. But Kyle, thank you again so much. Truly grateful for our continued conversations, and Ido look forward to our next virtual coffee chat.
Kyle:
You are too kind. You are awesome. Ashley, it was so much fun being on.
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